heathicorn:

am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs

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    • 1 day ago
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    kurgs:

    skeletongrazed:

    skeletongrazed:

    what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?

    one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean

    #i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
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    williamdarcy:

    the girl who confidently mispronounces “fajita”

    shona-hector

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    solarroyal:

    solarroyal:

    joshpeck:

    i miss the surprise bitch meme someone bring it back

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    • 1 day ago
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    helloiambaymax:

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    ((you are LYING if you claim that this gif is not comedy gold  

    baymax just pops up like ‘eyyyy swag’ going WHEEEE and hiro’s double take and how he just goes WOOOAAHH BACK THE FUCK UP AND JUST SWOOPS AWAY 

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    MAJESTIC

    like who the fuck does that?? THIS DORK RIGHT HERE

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    lookslikehecansurf:

    do you know this thing michael does in interviews where he takes off a bracelet off his left wrist and fiddles with it

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    I DONT KNOW WHY HE DOES THAT BUT ITS RLLY CUTE G OODBYe

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    • 2 days ago
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    • 2 days ago
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    • Carver:*hits Clementine*
    • Lee:*raises from the dead, travels light-speed across the country, stabs Carver in the eye with a machete* THE FUCK YOU DID
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    • 2 days ago
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    • 12234

    harmonypowerhouse:

    *develops new crush* *looks up star sign compatibility instead of actually talking to them*

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    • 2 days ago
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